Save the Date - December 31, 2008

Evil Sins

1) My boyfriend cheated on me with my roommate. I got rid of him and taught my roommate a lesson. I added a secret nontoxic potion to her shampoo, and her hair turned white.
2) I have in-the-closet road rage. I constantly flip people off below the view of the dashboard.
3) I binge eat in the middle of the night and faithfully follow Jenny Craig during the day.
4) I virtually cheat on my boyfriend with Artie Lang from the Howard Stern show.
5) I used to live in a basement apartment with two roommates, Steve and Jim. In the spring, bats would come into our apartment. At first, we tried to catch them in a shoe box, but late at night, that’s a nasty bit of business, especially if you’re drunk. One week, Jim went on vacation. We got sick of trying to catch the bats, so we just scared them into Jim’s room and closed the door. By the time he got back from vacation, there were at least 3 bats living in his room. We put a sign on his door that said “bats,” but he ignored it and paid the price.
6) I went very late to an invite-only party recently, and I got so drunk that I passed out and woke up on the grass in the morning with no recollection. I went into the house and met up with this hot blonde euro chick, and we ended up spending the day naked in the Jacuzzi – score!
7) I slept with my boss at his house while his wife and kids were away on vacation, and the nanny walked in on us!
8) Okay, but you asked for it!!! My confession of evil: My sisters and I use to play made-up games when our parents would go out. My made-up game consisted of shutting out all the lights in the house and playing my own version of “hide-and-go-seek/tag.” See, the point was that no one KNEW who was the tagger (who was “IT”), so the object of the game was to find each other and tag someone to be “IT” without the others
knowing. So, my youngest sister was about 6 or so, and I figured it would be really funny to pretend that I got stabbed with a very sharp knife. I poured ketchup all over me and the floor before screaming and falling lump on the floor. Well, it scared her alright, she fainted then and there! I do feel quite evil for scaring my baby sister half to death, but my sick imagination got the best of me. She never lets me forget that day, and we are now 23 and 28 years old!!! :)
9) When I was nine years old, my parents bought me a sleeping bag for Christmas. Being the spoiled only child that I am, I wanted to sleep in it THAT night, but seeing as it was December, camping outside wasn't an option. So my parents decided that I could stay on the floor of their room – Sweet! Anyways, I fall asleep on their floor in my bag ― no big deal. I woke up really early in the morning, maybe 4 or 5am only to find that my parents are gone. Being a confused and curious little kid, I stumble off to my own bed, where I find my parents DOING IT ON MY BED! I'm nine, so I don't really know what's going on, but I know it's not quite right. I manage to make it to the living room couch, where I pass out and try to unsuccessfully repress that memory. I never said anything, but at least my parents got some in my bed before I did!

10) Yes, I had sex on a jet ski in the middle of the day!!! The best part is that it was with someone else.

11) I must confess that I want to beat up the old annoying lady I work closely with...every day!

12) I seduced the lead singer of a band and had sex with him on the dock behind the bar as people were giggling, no doubt getting a show, from their boats...hey it was a good time.